Social life until you become an adult
Humans come into the world alone and die alone in the end. Numerous relationships between life and death are newly created and sometimes disappear soon after. Life begins with the first relationship with your parents the moment you come into the world. In childhood, since you cannot do anything alone, you depend on your parents for everything. Therefore, the main concern of the child is whether or not someone takes care of them. The child announces that their diaper is loose or that they are hungry by crying. You know instinctively that if you laugh or cry, you get attention from people. From the beginning of your life, you learn how to influence people. As you grow, experience accumulates, and as you become an adult, you decide and act on your own. You become an adult who can live without depending on anything anymore. You face reality, do not distort the problem, and try to stand alone to solve the problem as it is. Educating and nurturing a child means raising them as an independent adult who can solve the things that happen in life independently. However, even though the body has grown up and become an adult, if the habit of relying on others for anything remains intact, problems arise in many areas of life. Adults find something to do. They also want their spouse to take on the role of caring that they received from their parents. Sometimes, a wife wants attention and care, or a wife asks her husband for the kind of caring side that her father showed. The same is true between lovers. It becomes a burden because you excessively ask for what you want from an unexpected target from the beginning, and that expectation is always frustrated. Or, in the name of addiction, you depend on something other than a person. Yes, of course, there can be more than one degree of dependence even after becoming an adult, but becoming obsessed with and dependent on others to the point of losing oneself causes problems. Adults have freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences at the same time. Being dependent means handing over your right to choose to something else. When this happens, you should have the full right to choose in life, but the choices and responsibilities are very difficult for adults and children who cannot stand alone, so they want to postpone the choices they have to make to the outside world. Despite having a wealth of experience, when the moment of choice comes, you postpone the decision to others and fall into greater confusion. Even though you are closest to the problem and have enough ability to solve it, you delay making a choice and another problem arises.
Adults adapting to sociallife
As an adult child, the basic premise is that you are too weak and incompetent to lead your own life. So, when you encounter a difficult situation, you cannot face it and somehow avoid it or postpone it to others. Parents are superior to their children. Parents can do things on their own that children cannot do. In their world, adults around them think they are superior, so children get help from others or put off things that are difficult for them to do themselves. The same goes for adults. And because they do not trust themselves, they find a way to solve it by pushing others to solve it. Because they cannot take the initiative in making choices and responsibilities, it also leads to identity problems. You are given the gift of identity. The existentialist philosopher Sartre said that what you choose in life becomes who you are. The important thing is to make a proactive choice. If you choose to write once a day, plan it, and put it into practice, you can become a writer given work. When you gain experience in exercising your right to choose and leading your team members well, you are given the identity of a leader. You are not simply a leader based on your position or title, but you are equipped with a true leader with your own firm thoughts. Just because a child is born, you do not automatically become a true parent. When you, as a parent, fulfill the economic responsibilities of the family and dedicate yourself to raising and educating your child, you have the identity of a parent yourself. This identity is not obtained only by doing something well. It is the result that can be obtained only when you live independently without running away at the moment of choice. Conversely, if you cannot choose for yourself, you will lose your presence in everything you do. Because you did not choose for yourself, it is easy to think that you do not own anything anymore, and it becomes difficult for you to have your own identity. Another reason why making leading choices is important is that choices in life do not end once. After making a choice and taking responsibility for the outcome, another choice awaits you. So avoiding a choice does not end with one or two instances of running away. Because innumerable choices are given, you have to postpone and avoid each time. There will come a situation where you have to make a choice again and again, and it will be a life of endless running away. It will probably be a tiring and difficult life. If you make your choice, it is easy to accept any outcome. However, if you postpone the choice to someone else and the result is bad, you will pass all responsibility for the outcome to that person. If a leader postpones the choice to their colleagues and the worst outcome occurs, how will the leader react? It is likely that they will yell at their colleague and blame them to others. You may think it is fortunate that you are not responsible for the results, but that person is not playing the role of a leader at all. It is because there is no choice and no responsibility for human relationships. The same is true for human relationships. You can be hurt by people, but the choice is not over at once. If this choice fails, you just have to do better next time. Because you have accumulated experience in human relationships, the possibility of not failing next time has already increased. And in relationships with people, because you think you have the right to choose, you make your own choices and draw a firm line with those whom you judge to have unhealthy relationships. Because you have the choice and responsibility, even if you make good or unsuccessful choices, it leads to growth in your life. Because you have it, you are less shaken by your surroundings. That's how you can become an adult who can stand alone in life.
What it really means to be alone
Finally, being alone as an adult is a state that goes beyond simply being alone. In the end, you will become an independent adult with the initiative in making choices and taking responsibilities, and will be able to live a growing life without being shaken no matter what the circumstances. The psychologist Clerk Psychology concludes by briefly explaining three characteristics of adults living alone. The factors that worry you are uncontrollable things that you cannot do. You have to give up your attachment to them. You think and act within your ability and leave the results to fate. Second, you have the capability to understand and handle your mind well. You know exactly what feelings and studies you have right now. The reason you can not manage with situations that be to you is that you can not objectively grasp what's going on due to your anxiety and negative feelings. So it's not serious. When you take effects that you don't like seriously, you ultimately get swayed by the situation. So if you understand your mind well, you can look at the situation more directly and be less shaken. Third, you believe that you have control over your life and you have confidence. When you look at things more objectively, you can see the effects more clearly. Because you see effects more easily, you find further ways to control the situation. This gives you further confidence and the knowledge that problems will not end your life. You can act better because you know what to do. As a result, you feel more confident. getting an adult alone is a state that requires you to go further simply being alone. In the end, you'll come an independent grown-up who takes the action in making choices and taking liabilities. You'll be suitable to live a growing life without being shaken no matter what the circumstances.
